Welcome back to our last installment of our multi-part series on Larry Dressler’s “Standing Outside the Fire.” You may remember, previously we discussed:
Step 1: Stand with Self-Awareness
Step 2: Stand in the Here and Now
Step 3: Stand with an Open Mind
Step 4: Know What You Stand For
Step 5: Dance with Surprises
This week we will close with Step 6: Stand with Compassion
What it Means
Every individual deserves our “unconditional positive regard.” This term was invented by psychotherapist Carl Rogers and means “unwavering support and acceptance” regardless of what they are doing in the moment. We tend to assume a person’s motives and qualities and it’s easy to label someone’s behavior based on what you observe. However the truth is we never know all the factors affecting someone’s behavior.
What to Do
You don’t have to agree with someone, but you do have to treat them respectfully. Do not embarrass or demean. Confront bad behaviors while allowing a person to maintain their dignity.
As a wrap up- two key points to remember when facilitating high heat meetings and conversations:
1. Feel the situation and act accordingly. Be aware and go with the flow as necessary.
2. Give everyone a chance. Assume the best in people even when they are behaving less than their best. Confront bad behaviors but allow the other party to maintain their dignity.